Fools Rush In – First Time Sex

First Time Sex

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Such are the mysteries of first time sex that lures all of us to the forbidden fruit. Just last night there was a tap on my window and a little drummer boy from the neighborhood (who likes hanging around my 30-something bachelor lifestyle) was lurking outside wanting toborrow a bed sheet. Round the corner was his hot sardarni girlfriend and they were going to spend the night in the room on his terrace roof and had no bed sheets.

Flashes of Mahi Gill as Paro in Dev D carrying her mattress across farms on a bicycle carrier flashed through my mind as I mused at the tangled web we weave when we first learn to make out. Truly a case of abundant innocence outweighed by stupidity and generous dollops of hormonal confusion inter-mingled with various divides of gender, social status, rural-urban and information overload.

Innocence @ Information Technology

Porn is all pervasive on the Internet. If I ever have a kid, I imagine he or she would have their own e-mail account by the time they are seven years old, at least. I figure I would never have to make any effort on sex education because their spam folder would have told them everything they need to know/avoid.

However, how much of titillation is really knowledge? I was fourteen when I lost my virginity and it was tumultuous to say the least. I decided we had to cross the final frontier just so ‘I could know we were serious,’ She agonized over the decision for weeks and finally decided by draw of lots. I asked her what she would do if things went wrong and she told me she would most definitely jump in the river and end her life. Can you get a sense of how significant the first time can be?

Back in the early eighties, we really didn’t have so many pick up artists around such as my esteemed colleague, The Playa. What we had can be best called ‘screw up artists.’ Since we didn’t know all that much about making love, at best, what we did was screw up.

I was a savvy kid who hung around with dudes far older than I. One of whom happened to be in Medical College. That was it, I wangled the gynecology text book from him and spent a few days in what I hoped was adequate ‘research.’ For those who might be thinking of emulating me, let me tell you a gyne textbook is chock full of photographs of prolapsed uteruses andsuch like. Hardly anything in it told me how to prepare for my first time. Sure enough, on the appointed day, I did something completely idiotic. I forgot about the pain! Thus did I debut.

Emo Aftermath

What no book, article, friend, brother or mother tells you is how to prepare for the emotional upsurge that follows. Face it; you get a lover who is living, warm, sensation-al and full of interesting nooks and crannies that your young mind can dive into like a cavorting whale in the artic sea. Wonder, disbelief and a rising need to replicate the pleasure intermingle with the thrill of organizing the experience can put you through hoops you would smile at later in life.

In a nutshell, almost all of us usually fall in love with the person we have sex with for the first time in our life. At least if you’ve been romancing the girl all the while. I think it stems from a need to be ‘one’ with the object of your affections to such an extent that your best bet is to be ‘inside’ the person you love. Even casual sex has its intimacy; and I personally believe that most Indian chicks would not let you anywhere next to their hemlines unless you’ve declared ‘I love you.’

So what did the 14 year-old I do? Stricken by a bout of self-consciousness, I tried to act nonchalant and over did the ‘cool swagger.’ The results were as expected and I had to save the situation, which I did in a stroke of inspiration penned in a letter to the effect that, ‘…whatever it was; good or bad; it was ours! Ours to share, cherish and build upon.’ (Go ahead, use my words in your lives, I don’t mind.)

Besides perennial foot-in-the-mouth disease, the funny thing was that at 14, we might be randy as heck but we were still removed from the world of cars, parties, booze and intellectualism. Looking back, it seems like the first relationship is actually one in which both of you grow together. Provided of course, that you do not do incredibly stupid things such as take your girl along when you goto buy booze. My little drummer boy did that on his way to my place and hardly got out of the shop with his girl unmolested. Remember, safety first and always organize yourself so that you do not have to suffer love on the run. After all, it’s an unforgettable experience that we all wish we could recreate, but lost innocence is inevitable in life. Maybe the experience is best left in a haze of memory.